Suzaku Co Go Sexually Insane
by Crazy Lady
Summary: Crude jokes in here. A warning to you all this is my first Fushigi Yuugi fanfiction. Please r&r. For what would happen if the Suzaku crew went sexually insane! C&C welcomed. NEW, I'VE UPDATED! Chapter 2 has finally arrived.
1. Default Chapter

SUZAKU CO. GO SEXUALLY INSANE  
  
By. Crazy Lady  
  
Disclaimers: I do not own Fushigi Yuugi, or anything else. ::cries:: Can I at least  
have them for a night? No?! ::cries even more::  
  
Author's notes: Ok, I know you guys all hate this and just half the time skip it, but please listen! ::everybody ignores her:: No respect. -.-;;; ANYWAY, for those listening to  
me, this story is for those of open minds. Mostly to open minded Christians, ect, for the   
reason why is because the word Jesus is used in this story. Please note that if you   
can't stand someone referring something as Jesus then please leave. I'm saying this   
because I have gotten cussed out for saying something which was nicknamed Jesus.  
-.-;; Anyway, if you wish to flame me after reading this story, for those I haven't chased  
off. Then please do it in a NICE way. Not cussing me out kinda way. I enjoy comments   
and all but not something which has me being cussed out. Also this story is based on  
the jokes that me and my friends have come up with over some time. Now after talking   
your ears off, enjoy the story! ^.^  
  
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Tasuki: *wearing tight black pants and a button down, white, silk, T-shirt, that's opened  
and revealing his muscled chest and abdomen, smirks at everyone*  
  
Chichiri: O.O  
  
Mitsukake: O.O  
  
Chiriko: O.O  
  
Nuriko: O.O  
  
Tamahome: O.O  
  
Hotohori: O.O  
  
Miaka: O.O  
  
Tasuki: *winks at you suggestively, slowly and gently sliding his left hand fingertips on  
the inside of his left thigh, slowly moves his fingertips up his thigh till he reaches his  
crouch, then let's his fingertips rest there*  
  
Rest Of Suzaku Co.: *watching on, blushing scarlet, while staring at his fingertips*  
  
Tasuki: *indicates to his crouch while smiling sexily at you* Would you like to meet   
Jesus?  
  
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Tamahome: *whistling absentmindedly, while walking down one of the palace hallways,  
turns around a corner and suddenly stops short, seeing Miaka* Miaka..  
  
Miaka: *looks up at hearing her name and sees Tamahome, stares at him* Tamahome..  
  
Tamahome: Miaka..  
  
Miaka: Tamahome..  
  
Tamahome: Miaka.. *starts to walk towards her, while staring at her lovingly*  
  
Miaka: Tamahome... *starts to walk towards him, meeting him half way*  
  
Tamahome: Miaka.. *wraps his muscled arms around her gently, bends his head down   
slowly towards her face, kisses her*  
  
Miaka: *kisses Tamahome back*  
  
Tamahome: *slowly slides his tongue into her mouth*  
  
Miaka: *moans softly in the back of her throat and some what into his mouth, slowly   
starts to run her hands all over his body*  
  
Miaka and Tamahome: *become involved in a passionate embrace, thank God for the   
two that no one came by*  
  
Tamahome: *after a few minutes breaks the kiss, his lungs screaming for air, pants,  
blushes slightly at realizing what he's doing* Miaka?... Could I ask you something?...  
  
Miaka: *blushing a darker red then Tamahome, panting from the lack of air in her lungs   
also* What is it Tamahome?   
  
Tamahome: Could you?... Could you pet 'puppy' please? *indicates down to the bulge  
in his pants, blushes an even deeper shade of red*   
  
Miaka: *blushes an even deeper shade of red also at realizing what he means* Only if   
you pet 'kitty'. *gently places a hand on her pussy suggestivly*  
  
Tamahome: *eyes sparkle, grins madly* Would I EVER! *grabs Miaka and runs off to   
the nearest empty bed room available. Soon after odd noises, similar to moaning and groaning, is heard from there*  
  
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Mitsukake: * in the palace library, looking up at the one of the high shelves* Chiriko?...  
Pass me the ladder, please?  
  
Chiriko: *looking at a book, getting down from a short ladder, doesn't look up from his   
book* Sure. *slides the short ladder to Mitsukake, unnoticeable fast*  
  
Mitsukake: *turns around* Than- *suddenly the little sliding ladder slides full force right  
into his crouch, making him double over and cry out in pain*  
  
Chiriko:*looks up quickly at hearing Mitsukake cry out in pain, sees him doubled over in  
pain and realizes what happened, eyes widen* Mitsukake! *runs over to him, worried*   
Mitsukake? Are you all right?  
  
Mitsukake: * holding his painfully throbbing jewels, doubled over, looks up painfully at   
Chiriko, moans softly* Ooohhhh... There goes little Johnny...  
  
Chiriko: *tears start to well up in his large, childish, green eyes* Little Johnny?...  
  
Mitsukake: *nods sadly* And little Suzie too..  
  
Chiriko: *tears cling to his eyelashes* Not little Suzie too!  
  
Mitsukake: *sighs sadly* I'm afraid so..  
  
Chiriko: *cries*  
  
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Nuriko: *walking around the palace garden, dressed up as Lady Korin, sees Hotohori  
standing on one of the bridges* Hello your Majesty...  
  
Hotohori: *looks up and sees Nuriko, smiles at him* Why hello there Nuriko.  
  
Nurko: * walks up to Hotohori, and stands next to him. Looks out into the water, saying  
nothing*  
  
Hotohori: *goes back to looking out into the water, all is quiet between them*  
  
Nuriko: *suddenly turns around without warning and grabs the front of Hotohori's shirt*  
YOUR MAJESTY! I NEED A MAN!  
  
Hotohori: *stares at Nuriko calmly* ... *snaps his fingers while staring at Nuriko*  
  
*Suddenly the music to 'Deals on Wheels' comes on and people come out half naked   
out of no where, all of them starts dancing and singing* HOERS ON WHEELS! FOR  
YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET IT WHEN YOUR JOB IS YOUR CREDIT! HOERS ON   
WHEELS! *Suddenly a chart full of almost naked women and men, which are hoers, go  
rolling by in the chart*  
  
Nuriko: *eyes are closed, left eye brow twitching, while still holding onto the front of   
Hotorhori's shirt*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Tasuki: *laying down without wearing his T-shirt, head thrown back in pleasure,  
eyes closed, cries out to you* JESUS IS COMING! LOOK BUSY!!!  
  
  
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Author's Notes 2: Ok, I know some of you are about to kill me about the whole Jesus  
thing, but please listen. I wasn't saying that Jesus is a dick in this story. I was saying   
that Tasuki had nick named his penis Jesus, NOT that Jesus IS A DICK! The reason  
why I say this is because I had told someone that one of my friend had nicked named  
his penis Jesus, and the guy thought I was saying Jesus was a dick, and then cussed  
me out. Which I wasn't. -.-;; Just to let you know about this. Well, I hope you enjoyed this story. For loved it? Hated it? Reply and tell me what you think. If you wish me to continue this then just say so. I'm not planning on continuing this. Depends on how many reviews I get and how many ask for more. So we'll see. Till then, byez! ^.^ 


	2. Insanity Returns

Suzaku CO. Go Sexually Insane II  
  
Author's notes: Ah, yes. After a year, I am finally back with another chapter for this story. Sorry to all those that have wanted another chapter to this story sooner. Things in my life, and trying to thinking up some other sexually odd things, have taken up lots of time. -.-;;  
  
Ranma: ::smirks:: Just admit it. You were too lazy.  
  
Crazy Lady: ::twitches, glares over at Ranma:: Shut up.  
  
Ranma: ::sticks his tongue out at her:: Make me!  
  
Crazy Lady: ::smiles sweetly at him, giving him a look saying she'll get to him later, then turns back to the readers:: As I have said, I've been busy. I'd also like to make a note that things from the last chapter will be mentioned in this chapter. Another thing, do not, I repeat, do not flame me because Jesus is named something else in this story. I don't want to hear it. As I once said, I was cussed out about it before, I don't need it again. -.-;  
  
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Disclaimers: I own nothing related to the wonderful series Fushigi Yuugi: Mysterious Play. I do, however, own some of the insane jokes in this story, as I also own this story. But I do not own Fushigi Yuugi. ::sighs sadly:: Tis true.. Tis true. At least I can borrow the characters, for a little while, for this story. =D  
  
Without further delay, here is the story. ::bows::  
  
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Tasuki: *looks around the abandon palace garden with annoyance, waves a hand in front of his face from the heat bearing down upon him from the sun, grumbles* Where the hell is everyone? *suddenly loud squeals of delight and laughter are heard, slowly he looks over to the right and sees a bikini clad Miaka run around a building's corner, followed by a speedo clad Chichiri*  
  
Miaka: *laughs, hides behind Tasuki, as Chichiri uses his magic to throw balls of water at Miaka, sticks her tongue out at Chichiri* Nah! Can't get me!  
  
Chichiri: *smirks evilly, lifts his hand up that has a ball of water floating a few centimeters from his palm* Wanna bet, no da? *throws the water at Miaka, only to miss her and hit Tasuki, creates another ball of water and continues to try and hit Miaka, only to keep missing her cause of her ducking behind Tasuki, finally goes after her and chases her again*  
  
Miaka: *laughs, runs around Tasuki, with Chichiri in hot pursuit, for a few minutes before dashing off to another place in the palace garden*  
  
Chichiri: Hey, no da! Get back here! .;; *chases after Miaka*  
  
Tasuki: *stands there very stiff, alone once again, dripping wet, eyes having a wild look to them, slowly he seems to come out of a shocked daze, mutters to himself* Jesus. Has risen.  
  
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*Quietly; Miaka, Chiriko, Tamahome, and Mitsukake sit in the palace library bored, before Miaka suddenly brightens*  
  
Miaka: Hey guys! I just remembered a really great joke, wanna hear it?  
  
Tamahome: *laying against a table, a depressed, bored look on his face, grumbles* Yeah, sure. It's not like we have anything else better to do.  
  
Mitsukake: *nods* Yes, I agree with Tamahome.  
  
Chiriko: *smiles brightly* Yes, for it would be wonderful to hear it.  
  
Miaka: *smiles brightly at them* Alright, well it goes like this.. A man was sitting on a plane, and he really had to go. Unfortunately, the men's bathroom was out of order and he couldn't use it. So he then asks a flight attendant if he could use the women's bathroom, cause he had to go really badly and they wouldn't land for quite some time. After a few minutes of thought, the flight attendant agrees with him, yet warns him not to push the third button in there. The man is confused with this, yet agrees. Once the man is in the bathroom doing his business, he looks over to his left and notices a panel with three buttons. After a few minutes, curiosity finally gets to him and he thinks to himself, 'Well, she didn't tell me not to press the other two buttons.' So then he reaches over and presses the first button. Suddenly he's being given a back massage. The man thinks this isn't bad, and, wondering what the second button does, presses the second button. Instantly he's getting a pedicure. The man, thinking that those two things were great, wonders what could be so bad about the third button, so, going again what he was told not to do, reaches over and presses the third button. Instantly he blacks out. A few days later, he wakes up to find himself in the hospital surrounded by a nurse and a doctor. The man, utterly confused, asks what happened. The nurse stares at the man in disapproval and replies, "You pressed the third button, didn't you?" The man nods his head in confusion, replying, "Yes, why? What had happened when pressing the third button?" The nurse is quiet for a minute or so, before replying, "Instant tampon remover." The man goes white before looking at the doctor. The doctor looks sadly at the man before speaking for the first time. "I'm sorry son, your dick was lost." The man then promptly faints, again.  
  
Mitsukake, Chiriko, Tamahome: ..  
  
Miaka: *grins at them* So, what did you think? ^.^  
  
Mitsukake: *looks at Miaka calmly* It reminds me of the time of when I lost little Johnny and Little Suzie..  
  
Chiriko: *eyes fill up with tears* Li-little Johnny?.. S-suzie? *bursts into tears*  
  
Mitsukake: *starts to pat Chiriko on the back soothingly*  
  
Tamahome: *stares over at Miaka seriously* Miaka?.. What's a plane?..  
  
Miaka: -.-;;;  
  
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Nuriko: *happily sitting on a bench in the palace garden, next to Hotohori, sucking on a lolly pop*  
  
Hotohori: *twitches to every loud sucking sound that Nuriko makes*  
  
Nuriko: *stops sucking for a minute to give the lolly pop big lick, then proceeds to suck the lolly pop again*  
  
Hotohori: *suddenly turns around towards Nuriko, crying out* I can't take it anymore! *lunges on Nuriko, both falling to the ground*  
  
Nuriko: *cries out in pleased surprise* Hotohori-sama!  
  
*If anyone was to walk near the gardens, they would have hear strange noises, luckily for everyone else's sanity, no one did*  
  
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Chichiri: *blinks in surprise out of his meditation when Tama-neko bumps him head gently against Chichiri's leg* Eh? *looks down at the mewing cat, smiles* Ah, Tama-neko. I take it you want attention. *picks the cat up and places it on his lap, starts to pet it*  
  
Tasuki: *walks into the room whistling, suddenly stops at seeing Chichiri petting Tama-neko, grins at Chichiri* Wow Chichiri! I'm surprised at you! For this is the closest you've ever come to a pussy!  
  
Chichiri: ...  
  
Tama-neko: -.-;;;;  
  
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Keisuke: *drunkenly leans against Tetsuya, hiccups, slurs out* I love ya man.  
  
Tetsuya: *hiccups, grins drunkenly at his friend, his sun glasses half hanging off, slurring, he replies* I love ya too, man..  
  
Keisuke: *gives his friend a drunken smile* Really? Can you bare my child then?  
  
Tetsuya: *grins drunkenly at his friend, slowly nods* Sure!  
  
Keisuke: *hiccups, grins happily at his friend, leans over to give Tetsuya a kiss, only to pass out and fall against Tetsuya*  
  
Tetsuya: *lets out one last hiccup before also passing out, both Tetsuya and Keisuke falling to the floor, out cold*  
  
Yui: *sighs annoyed, rolls her eyes, grumbles* I swear, don't those two ever learn? -.-;;  
  
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Author's notes 2: And that about sums it up. See! I had given you guys more then I was planning to. Sorry if this chapter kind of sucks. I know the jokes aren't as good as the lasts, but what can you do? ^^;; If anyone would like to see this story continued, or have any ideas or jokes to add to the story, drop me a line at Double0Sexie@aol.com. Also, comments and criticism is welcomed, but just as long as their polite, mature, and nice. I don't need people harassing me like 'Johnny Cakes'. Who you ask? Read 'Wishing' in the Family Guy section to understand. Those that insult or flame will only be laughed at, then given the same treatment in return by me posting a chapter dedicated to the reviewers. I have a wonderful example on chapter two on 'Wishing.' Also, I want to again say sorry to anyone that I've insulted about the whole Jesus thing. It was all a joke, really! ;.;  
  
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A Note of Thanks: Thank you so much to all those that have reviewed my past chapter! It means a great deal to me, and you were all the ones to convince me in the end to continue with this odd little story, which I had thought up in a tent on the beach in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Also, I want to thank everyone who placed me on their favorite's list, for that greatly made my day. Thank you all so much! ^.^  
  
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Author's pled for help: Help! I've been messing with this stupid file for some time and it doesn't want to work with me. Grr.. If anyone knows anything about .html, and you tell me, I'll bow before you. I've been trying to make these chapters come out exactly how I made them to look, and it doesn't seem to want to. I'm going to try to figure it out some more. So please forgive the horrid way this chapter is laid out now. Forgive me and my evil computer! *cries* 


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